Eye of the butterfly

Google Nest and Elf-on-the-Shelf—step aside. There’s a new nanny-cam in town, I am very creeped out to discover. And even creepier is its über-fey name: Butterfleye.

Ugh.

Being able to “keep an eye” on somewhere you don’t happen to be at the moment is like the car phone of the 21^st Century: it’s a tremendous status symbol. It proclaims at maximum volume both an overwhelming obsession with your possessions (real or imagined) and the indisputable fact that you almost literally have money to burn.

I discovered the existence of this iteration in a “sponsored post” (read “ad”) on Nextdoor-dot-com, offering $50 off the hardware. (Making it $150 for the cheapest single-unit kit. If you want to store your home spy video longer than 12 hours, subscriptions range from $9.95 per week to $29.95 per month for the cheapest version.)

Here’s how they word their full come-on:

“What’s the worst thing about being away from home? Not knowing what’s actually happening. Check in on your home and live stream 24/7 from anywhere in the world with a Butterfleye wire-free security camera. Butterfleye provides real time, accurate alerts whenever something of concern arises. We keep your home secured while you are at work or enjoying life. Package theft and home burglaries are on the rise, homes with a security camera are much less likely to be targeted. 26 million Americans were victims of package theft in 2016. Butterfleye easily mounts to your front door and can tell you exactly when the package was dropped off and if there is anyone snooping on your porch (no wires, simple installation). Put your mind at ease and know everything is okay.”

Around here, I’m thinking you’d get a lot of nocturnal wildlife, like deer, raccoons and opossums for your technology purchase.

I’m not discounting the fact that there are some valid cases for wanting to install security equipment. Package theft…meh. But checking on whether your teenagers are throwing nightly parties while you’re on your 20^th Anniversary Mediterranean cruise, or verifying that your cat is, in fact, getting up on the kitchen counter in clear violation of House Rules while you’re at work—yeah, sure.

Although what, precisely, you’re going to do about either of those crimes post facto, I do not know. Certainly the cat is not going to be impressed that you “caught” her.

Yes, I’ve had a look around the Web, and front-door parcel theft is a thing, although apparently it’s concentrated in the Bay Area. And we are headed into peak package-delivery season, and I’m missing having a concierge at the highrise sign for deliveries and keep them in a secure room for me. But I’ll struggle on without spy cameras.

As an aside, photos of the “team” behind Butterfleye look like mug shots after a gang raid. On the one hand, they don’t give me a lot of confidence in their probity, but on the other, if anyone understands chicanery, I’m thinking it’s this group.