Upon mulling it over...

Okay, here’s something else that seems fairly neutral for troubled times, in spirit if not in smell.

I say this as someone who at the weekend bought a couple of bottles of Glühwein, which I expect to thoroughly enjoy over the Advent period: I cannot imagine what product team ever thought this was a good idea. Even one in the UK. I mean—toilet paper with any kind of food-related scent seems pretty beyond the beyond. But…mulled spice?

Mulling is the process of heating a beverage such as wine, ale or cider and dressing it up with a bunch of (not to put too fine a point upon it) smelly spices. Cinnamon. Cloves. Allspice. Nutmeg. Things you also find in cookies. It seems…odd to think of paying extra to have those scents added to toilet paper.

Frankly, it’s not like we’re not already assaulted with these fragrances during the shopping season. I don’t think you can walk into a mall or grocery store without passing through a wave of at least cinnamon. I suspect it puts you in the buying mood.

Wiping your tush with it? I just dunno.

Okay—this has put me into a bit of a strop, so let me leave you with something else Mull-related, which also gets up my nose.

Ho, ho, ho.