Mazel tov, y'all

At the time of this writing, the polls are still open across the United States, and there’s no telling who’s ahead in the Presidential election.

Well, except if you’re Breitbart, which has called the election for the Chaos Monkey, on the same page that they’re foaming at the mouth about voter fraud. No cognitive dissonance there, then.

Anyhow, I’m tucked up in my living room, fairy lights, candles and wee drap of Glenmorangie, avoiding any news reports, and pulling in a little frisnic from Monday, because it might be my last chance to laugh about this election for four years.

Around noon on Monday my Twitter feed lit up with news that one of the Monkey’s spokesbimbos had decried Jay Z’s appearance on behalf of Hillary Rodham Clinton (the Monkey was in a real pout about his lack of celebrities; evidently even he’s having a hard time proclaiming that Scott Baio, the Duck Dynasty and Ted Nugent are the best celebrities). Because of his vulgar lyrics.

(Unlike her orange lord’s vulgar life.)

Specifically—and you know I am not making this up—singing about “throwing mazel tov cocktails”.

Quelle scandale!

Well, I got to thinking about it—as did everyone else on social media—you know, what would a mazel tov cocktail look like? It would have to include Mad Dog or Manischevitz, plus something bitter. Either Angostura or horseradish.

Well, here are some of the recipes put forward on the Twitters-dot-com:

Meanwhile, I believe I’ll just top up the Glenmorangie.