Most interesting

Oh, dear—seems The Most Interesting Man in the World has suddenly become…less interesting. At least to his employer.

Dos Equis (owned by Heineken) announced a couple of weeks ago that they were cutting Jonathan Goldsmith, 77, loose and replacing him with someone more in tune with the brand’s customer base.

That means a Millennial, who will, by definition, be hip and trendy.

Goldsmith started his gig with the Mexican beer company in 2007, so he’s had a good run, as these things go. TMIMITW was modeled on Hemingway in appearance and terse, banal dialog, and never seen with a woman who was within 20 years of his age (even his apparent age). Clearly, he was the dream of every male over 40.

They gave TMIMITW a testosterone-fueled send-off in a final commercial, in which he blasts off for a one-way mission to Mars. With a female astronaut about 50 years younger. If ya gotta go, it’s nice to go first class, I guess.

I shudder to think what the casting call for his replacement will be, because imagining the Millennial personification of “staying thirsty” makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

But if he shows up wearing a hipster hat, there will be blood.