Food service for the gods

On my flying visit to the National Gallery of Art on Monday I wandered into a room with Renaissance porcelain stuff.

(Sorry, but when I think of old dishware, I can’t help but recall one of George Carlin’s early routines about Congolia Breckinridge, the hapless daytime TV game show contestant who’s given the question category of Ancient Chinese Pottery and is stumped by the question, “How many ancient Chinese pots in a dozen?” Yes, I’m a Philistine.)

Well here’s a quasi-ancient Italian dish that completely stumped me: Francesco Avelli’s broad-rimmed bowl with Neptune raping Theophane; arms of Pucci with an ‘ombrellino’”, of 1532. (The “ombrellino” is the canopy; I had to look it up.)

Because of course you want to eat your linguine and scallops from a bowl with a picture of a god raping…well, anyone, right?

Especially if it’s got a designer’s family coat of arms on it. You can tell that branding has been around for a long time.

(I’m not going to be much help in explicating the Neptune and Theophane thing. It’s the usual maiden-too-beautiful-for-her-own-good-drives-the-gods-to-pursue-her thing, only I kind of lost interest when they started transmogrifying into sheep and rams.)