All the history that fits

A friend sent me the link to this story by the BBC—it’s supposedly to provide historical background for the British public for the visit of Irish president Michael Higgins to the UK this week. It’s a big deal because this is the first time ever an Irish head of state has set official foot there.

(It was also a big deal when Queen Elizabeth II paid a state visit to Ireland in 2011. I had a few observations on that occasion, too. Well, it freaked me out to hear “God Save the Queen” at the Garden of Remembrance in Dublin.)

I have no squawk about this diplomatic exchange or the notion of not letting yourself be hobbled for all eternity by the past. I say, make up, drink up and grow up, and I hope a very good time is had by all.

What I do object to here is the fact that this alleged political reporter, Gavin Stamp, is an idiot, and the BBC slapped this up on their website.

First off—“700 years of shared history”? Shared freakin' history? What the hell?

That would be “shared history” in the sense that the USSR had “shared history” with Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Romania from 1945 to 1989.

And that whole “sporting rivalry” fluff—what is up with that? Is it supposed to be somehow more significant than the rivalry between England and Germany? Or, for that matter, between Celtic and Rangers?

But what caused me to snort tea all over my keyboard is the notion that, while (Irish) literary giants such as Joyce and Beckett “preferred Paris to London”, these days the fact that the likes of Graham Norton and Terry Wogan are in residence in the British capital indicates it’s now a “literary destination”.

Oh, yeah—Norton and Wogan: the very heart and soul of, uh…TV. But, of course, Wogan does work for the BBC, so that would explain his elevation to the status of Joyce.

Plus—“Ireland leads the UK by seven victories to three in the Eurovision song contest.”

Well, then, say no more.