Friday, March 21, 2014

Last laugh

It’s Friday of Saint Patrick’s week—I’ll leave you with a few Irish jokes and resume normal operations on Monday. Whatever "normal" is.

Yes, I realize that only the one in Belfast requires an Irish setting; the others could substitute any ethnicity and still be funny. (Well, maybe the one in Kerry…) But it was hard to find any that were funny at all.

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Six Irishmen were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died.

The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man drew the shortest straw and went to his friend’s house to tell the wife.

The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.”

The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!”

The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”

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A man was walking on a Belfast street late one night when suddenly he was confronted with a masked man who had a gun pointed right at him. 

The gunman said "Are you Protestant or Catholic?"

The man was scared out of his wits but figured that he had to give some kind of an answer.

Praying for guidance he replied, "Neither - I'm Jewish!"

Silence for about 5 seconds, then the gunman's reply - "Is that so?  Well let me tell you, you're talking to the first Arab in Belfast!"

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An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse.

The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working."

The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him.

Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."

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Finally, from a beer company from St. Paul, Minn., I leave you with a visual:



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