It's all happening at the zoo

Ah, those merry folks at Copenhagen Zoo are at it again. You recall them—the ones who killed a healthy young giraffe last month because his genetic makeup was already represented in their breeding program, and then butchered his carcass in front of a crowd of families out for a Sunday jaunt. Then they fed Marius to the lions.

Well, turns out that this week they put down four of those very lions because they’re now surplus to requirements. At first I thought maybe they'd run out of ungulates to slaughter for lion chow, but it turns out that's not it.

They’re introducing a new male into the population—I guess for genetic reasons—and to make way for the import, two older and two 10-month-old males were, ah, terminated with extreme prejudice, as we’d say in another jungle.

This is on account of…well, I’m not entirely sure. The old ones might have objected to the new punk in the hood? And consequently the zoo’s ROI in the stud feline (well—isn’t that what he is?) might have been adversely affected? As for the cubs, described by the zoo in a statement as “not old enough to fend for themselves”, they would have been killed by the new male “as soon as he got the chance.”

Now there are some things about this that disturb me. The zoo’s statement says that these animals had to be killed “because of the pride of lions’ natural structure and behavior”. But there’s nothing natural about a group of lions (or any other type of animal) in a zoo. They are not in their natural environment, they enjoy none of the conditions they’d experience in the wild, their behavior is de facto not what it would be on their home turf, and none of those lions (of any age) probably knows how to fend for itself because they’re (supposed to be) looked after by humans.

Even their sex lives are controlled. That’s presumably why the new breeding male was brought in; as with Marius, evidently the existing genetic composition didn’t suit zoo management’s purposes. (I mean—they didn’t import him because he has some skillset not already present, right? He doesn’t speak rhino, for example, or know how to macramé?)

So citing a need to honor “natural structure” is bogus on the face of it.

They also used the term “euthanize” to describe the killings, which, as with Marius, I object to, since these lions’ lives were not ended “In order to relieve pain and suffering”, which is the definition of the term. They were killed because the zoo’s product roadmap has changed and they no longer fit in with the offering management thinks will provide the best customer experience.

The Guardian story mentions that Danes did not get the international reaction to the killing of Marius—some unnamed “leading expert” on animal ethics denouncing the “Disneyfication” of zoo inmates. Actually, while there might be some of that, the outrage encompasses the very anti-Disneyfication of animals—because not anthropomorphizing them is what makes you realize how much is wrong with the whole zoo setup. If you see them as members of species that were never intended by nature to live in small enclosed spaces for the entertainment (or even the edification) of humans, then you realize that killing them because they’ve become inconvenient for the institution’s breeding program is neither humane nor natural.

(Even in the horse-breeding business, once a stud has fulfilled his part of the bargain, they don’t slaughter him; they put him out to pasture. Of course, since all the wild animals kept in captivity have no residual notion of what their natural “pasture"’ looks like, much less how to survive in it, I do see the problem facing the animal keepers who want fresh bloodlines in their limited populations and constrained spaces. It’s like moving out the old sofa to make room for the spiffy new three-piece suite you think will look better in your living room.)

And it’s a good thing that the animals in the Copenhagen Zoo aren’t Disneyfied. Because if they were, there might be some yelps, screeches, roars and hisses of organized mutiny around the place. I mean—if this were a Disney movie, the critters would start to notice and remark on their comrades who keep disappearing. ‘Cause clearly ain’t nobody safe there.