Recruiters 31

I got a call this week from a recruiter—not a South Asian, for a wonder—wanting to know if I’d be interested in an “opportunity” with the megalithic telecommunications manufacturing company where I’ve done contract work before. The position is, of course, contract. This company’s business model revolves around keeping costs down in lieu of building innovative products.

Well, whatever. Here’s what I find interesting about this “opportunity”: they are demanding massive amounts of deep-tech experience. And they want to pay absolute crap for it. It seems this department has a very meager budget.

Here are some salient points in the job description:

“In addition to the core Web Services product management role, you will play a key role in evangelizing our Web Services offers to key partners across the Web (developers, Web sites, social media). You should be passionate and articulate in front of current and potential partners through a multitude of communication channels.

“We look to you to bring an excellent product management track record and deep technical expertise in Web Services from a major Web technology organization.

“Requirements

“- Bachelor's degree in a technical field, Master’s degree preferred

“- 10+ years of product management or related experience in a major Web technology organization

“- Hands-on software development background

“- Exceptional written and verbal communications skills

“- Prior experience with developer platforms

“- Ability to build sample applications and proof of concept prototypes

“- Proven leadership and management abilities

“- Entrepreneurial attitude

“- Willingness to work cross-functionally, collaboratively and cross-culturally; a true team player”

Moreover:

“This is a highly visible role with broad cross-organizational responsibilities in our company's Services. It has immense growth potential and is a strategic part of the community product management organization.”

The “growth potential” of course is all on the side of [Cheap-ass Corporation], and the strategy revolves entirely around getting senior-level experience for junior-grade pay. Not only is this work not deemed important enough to be done by a FTE, they're basically, expecting to get the organ grinder for the monkey’s wages.

As the recruiter admitted, “[Cheap-ass Corporation] usually pays below market rates, and this unit pays below even [Cheap-ass Corporation] rates.”

Then she added, “But they’re a really, really good group to work with.”

Oh. Well, then—that makes all the difference in the world, doesn’t it? Just tell my landlord or healthcare providers that I’m being paid pretty much nothing for my senior-level expertise, along with no benefits, so they won’t mind if I skip a month or two’s rent or hand over a big happy smile in lieu of a co-pay?

Holy crime wave!

Not sure how this story places in the News of the Weird scale when compared with Dennis Rodman making diplomatic inroads into North Korea, but I still offer it up to you.

Seems that Bradford, Yorkshire (UK), police were seeking a person of interest in a number of crimes (including fraud and fencing stolen goods), when out of the night (or at least, out of Yorkshire) a man dressed in full Batman regalia showed up with the alleged perp in tow.

And when I say “full” I mean it in the sense that the Caped Crusader had clearly had a lot more bacon butties than Christian Bale or George Clooney.

(Yorkshire is not exactly next door to the West Midlands of PD Peach fame. Still, the weirdest crime stories seem to be coming out of England lately.)

The coppers are insisting they don’t know who that masked man was, although there’s speculation that he, at the least, is someone who knows the perp.

That might or might not rule out one of the names mentioned by British bookies as a possibility, being a Yorkshireman: Alan Titchmarch, the doyen of garden programs. I’m keeping an open mind on that one.

Library dues

It turns out there’s a downside to having access to six different library systems in the area: yesterday, after returning a stack of materials to the Sunnyvale Public Library, I realized that two of them, DVD sets for the worst Miss Marple productions ever (excepting those made with Margaret Rutherford), were actually from the Santa Clara County Library system.

Today I go to SPL to pick up the DVDs. Then I should really hop over to the Cupertino branch of SCCoPL (as opposed to the Santa Clara City Library) and dump them before I mistakenly drop them in the San José or Palo Alto library systems, which haven’t yet installed computerized return mechanisms, or try to force them into the Mountain View Library return.

It’s making me feel so confused…

Linking in to the weird, pt. 3

I know LinkedIn is a place for people to make connections for professional purposes. (Well, possibly for other purposes, too; but that’s kind of a bridge too far for me to contemplate right now, since the business stuff sometimes borders on the monkey variety & it’s all I can handle.)

So I’m wondering why I just got an invitation to connect from an Uzbekistani lawyer? Who evidently speaks Uzbek, Russian, Armenian & Turkish, but not English?

Even if we did connect, what would we talk about?

Power forward diplomacy

The News of the Weird this week comes out of North Korea & the synapses in Dennis Rodman’s brain.

For some reason unknown to us on Planet Earth, Rodman made a visit to the land of famine & fantasies, & had an audience with Kim Jon Un.

Actually, as I write that sentence, it seems reasonable that Rodman would hook up with Kim, just based on that whole fantasy-world thing.

Anyhow, his chat with the president makes him the American who’s had the most face time with a North Korean leader since…maybe some time in the early regime of Kim Jong-Il.

In an interview with ABC’s George Stephanopolous, Rodman assures us that, while Kim is now his friend, “I don’t condone what he does”, so maybe he has heard about the famine as well as the fantasies.

Although, when I hear anything about Rodman, I can’t help but flash onto the exchange between Agent Jay & his new partner Elle that closes out Men in Black

Elle: Hey, Jay! Zed called. The high consulate from Solaxiant 9 wants floor seats for the next Bulls game.

Jay: All right, let's put in a call to Dennis Rodman. He's from that planet.

Elle: Rodman? You're kidding.

Jay: Nope.

Elle: Not much of a disguise.