Recruiters 30

As I was pointing out just a couple of weeks ago, recruiters constitute a special category of idiot. And recruiters for job shops are just freakin’ beyond the beyond.

My most recent experience validating this thesis was last week. I’m on a mailing list for a particular job shop and replied to one of their emails for a “Marketing Technology Process/Project Manager contractor for a client opportunity at a large, high technology company in Sunnyvale.”

To tell the truth, I’m not really into project management, but some of the technologies were interesting (social listening, anyone?) and it’s only for two to three months. (“With possibility of extensions!”) I figured that would be long enough to get some buzz words on my CV and give me something else to think about besides straining to rack up a thousand words a day on the novel.

First I got a chirpy email from a sourcer—the person who does the initial screening; it was a series of questions that needed to be answered before she could deign to speak to me:

1.       This is a 40 Hour Per Week / 2-3+ Month Contract (w/ Possible Extensions /Possible Perm Conversion opportunities). This role would be a w2 position with XXXX at the Major Client’s site located in Sunnyvale, Ca.  Are you willing to work onsite?

2.       What is your Current Hourly Rate (A Range)?  What is your Hourly Rate

3.       Describe your related experience in working with marketing technologies (e.g. email, social, web, analytics tools) within a large, global organization?

4.       Explain your Development of marketing system support process, metrics reporting and communication.

5.       Explain your experience of working in marketing technology Process or Project management, or marketing systems?

6.       Why are you interested in exploring this opportunity? (Are you currently working?)

I have to say that my answers were not particularly informative, because the questions annoyed me. In fact, my answer to #5 was “Not sure how this differs from question number 4.”

Evidently they were enough to get me to the next stage, and I had a 20 minute conversation with her, during which I elaborated on some of my process work (more than ten years ago) and how interested I am in social media. That prompted her to set up a call with her manager “the owner and president” of the agency, that afternoon. She wanted me to go into their office, but I said that wasn’t on, so we made it a call.

She wouldn’t disclose the name of the client company until I signed an NDA, which she sent with the meeting request. And when I sent it back to her, she was pleased to inform me that the client was, uh, a company I’ve had some experience with. I’ll call it PokerCo (as in, poker up their butts).

I’ve recounted my interaction with PokerCo here and here. So I thought about it and sent the sourcer an email saying that I knew that company and didn’t think I’m a cultural fit, so why waste the owner/president’s time.

Well, I got back an “I understand perfectly, but what’s your problem with them, they’re great!” response. I replied that I’d found their processes to be inflexible, and that since this job was all about process, I thought the deck would be stacked against success.

So she called. Again—“I understand, but everyone we have there LOVES the place!!” So, I agreed to speak with the owner/president—although I specified that I wasn’t interested in this one, but if she wanted to get some info from me about my capabilities in general, well, okay.

As you might imagine, of course, the owner/president was intent on interviewing me for this position, starting out by demanding to know what my specific problem was with PokerCo. I actually was spared having to reply that I had no intention of telling her specifics because she had to take another call. When she came back on the line, I asked questions about the role, the unit and so forth. She didn’t have a lot of information; kept answering role-specific questions with things like, “it’s a great place to work, financially stable”, etc.

We were interrupted again for about five minutes while she spoke to her cleaners. (She was apparently at home, so I’m wondering where the sourcer thought I’d be meeting with the owner/president.) Eventually, she told me in an aggrieved tone that I sounded like I had misgivings about this, so she wrapped it up quickly.

Which was fine with me, because the conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere anyhow. But I couldn’t get over how bizarre it is to try to push someone into contending for a job they clearly aren’t enthusiastic about. I mean—I’d be representing this woman’s agency, for God’s sakes. Why would she want me out there with her brand on me if I think the client is a collection of morons?

The owner/president wasn’t interested in any of my other capabilities, so I expect to never hear from them again. Too soon, that would be.