Labor Day 2010 (Part 1)

I have a few thoughts appropriate to Labor Day—which is actually supposed to represent more than the official end of summer, barbecues and wearing white shoes. Actually, the thoughts are more on the nature of the employer-employee relationship in the 21st Century.

I’ve had occasion to consider this over the past few years—ever since I was laid off in the Dot Bomb of 2001. Every time I’ve gone through the exercise of finding a new job I’ve seen that relationship become less and less of a quid-pro-quo partnership that I viewed it up until this century.

By this I mean that it’s incumbent on the job seeker to demonstrate complete enthusiasm for the opportunity (it’s not a job, it’s an opportunity) to “add value” to the employer. As I examine this, the “value” seems to me to be rather like that of a farm animal—you show breeding points that enable you to pull the plough all day long without complaint, leaving straight rows no matter what the terrain.

Then there’s “multitasking”. In this analogy, multitasking would be the willingness to work in the fields & then accept the inevitable slaughter to remove an unproductive mouth and bring in one final bit of revenue.

The company doesn’t have to even pretend to offer anything to the prospect, other than demanding complete devotion to whatever cockeyed “mission statement” exists around the product line, paying the absolute minimum they can get away with in a market that favors them being stingy in the extreme & cutting the workforce whenever they need a quick fix for the analysts & stockholders.

It’s a short-term one-sided arrangement, in every sense of those expressions.

The seeker must present him/herself as absolutely enthralled at the prospect of giving all the hours God sends to the furtherance of the corporation’s goals, even with full knowledge that the real, unstated, goals revolve around making top management obscenely rich in the shortest amount of time; everything else is ancillary. This includes being available and responsive around the clock, so that when a colleague or manager feels like bunging out an email at 2245 on a Saturday, you must reply before 0900 on Monday or be considered a slacker, less than 120% focused on the problem(s) at hand.

(I’ve heard colleagues complain of seeing emails flying past late into the night, wondering what “these people” are doing, thinking about work at those hours. My response is always, “But what are YOU doing—you’re reading them at those hours.”)

At no time during 96% of the interview process can the prospect inquire—or even be seen to think that this is a consideration at all—what s/he might expect in return for this utter devotion. You can’t ask about pay, benefits, career path; all such inquiries would indicate that you’re not really willing to give everything you have to fill this one function simply because you believe it is your True Calling.

And yet, any more, what could the modern laborer want from an employer-employee relationship BUT financial compensation, which includes the whole “package”—if there is one—of salary, bonus, paid time off, health coverage? Not to mention things like education reimbursement, retirement plan? It’s the rare employer that doesn’t engage in employment-at-will, meaning they can fire staff at any time for any reason (or no reason), without explanation. That being the case, all employment is basically short-term and at-risk all the time. Executive management have demonstrated consistently that they’re in it for the immediate gain; why should workers imagine that when they take a job it’s a long range investment in the future, either theirs or the company’s?

For most businesses these days, “long-range” means “end of this quarter”. What matters is profit now, not what it might be next year, much less five years from now.

And employees are nothing more than a category of disposable assets to achieve that profit.

Of course, we’re not supposed to know that, much less appear to know it during the interviews. No, we all put on our masks and act our parts in this play (don’t know whether it’s Noh drama or sit-com)—Hire me because my passion (for whatever it is you need) brings value-add to your mission-critical goals. This is a fabulous place to work because we hire only fabulous people. (And it’s better to be said to be fabulous than to be actually valued.)

There’s more to this line of thought; but I’ll leave it at this for now so you can turn the kabobs on the grill and tuck those white T-straps in the back of your closet.