The RE factor

I’m in the process of upping sticks and moving to the Silicon Valley to seek my fortune. This means I’m simultaneously dealing with two categories of the dregs of humanity: realtors and recruiters.

My own real estate agent is fine (although I really wish Craig Lilly could suddenly sprout a license for Washington and see me through this process). But the number of other agents you have to accommodate for showings that never actually materialize is astounding. And then there are those who don’t seem to be able to tell when Mickey’s hands are on the hour they themselves set for the visit.

There was even one who just barged in unannounced with an entourage of clients—she claimed they were in the area and “I thought this place was vacant”. Meaning she saw the for sale sign and never bothered to call my agent. All she’d have had to do would be to look in the window to my office to realize that it’s actually, you know, occupied. Since no one would stage a place with that number of books and a cat in the armchair.

Really—if I ever decided to buy a house again, I’m not going to leave it until they carry me out in a bag and my heirs have to manage the sale.

As for recruiters—Jeez Louise. I’ve had several bites from scum running job shops; recruiting for contract positions. They trawl job sites for CVs, presumably doing key word searches. They don’t bother to read any further, otherwise they wouldn’t be contacting me for marcoms or project manager jobs.

Conversations with them are fairly consistent—there’s a carny-type fast-talking pitch for this ab-fab job, accompanied by assurances that I’m a perfect fit for whatever it is. One spattered “that’s great, that’s great” throughout the call, at least in every other sentence.

Some of the jobs require experience in areas I’ve never even heard of. In my view that reduces my qualifications considerably, but it doesn’t seem to bother them.

Basically they’re just flinging CVs at the client hoping that one of them will stick. & evidently going for quantity rather than taking time to filter for quality is the way to go.

Well, it has to be borne. &, truth be told, I see them pretty much as nothing more than a channel for job leads. They’re just humanoid versions of Monster.com. And powerful incentive to find the right job for me sooner rather than later.