Corporate crock

The WSJ reports a new trend in corporate approaches to keeping employees contributing to the bottom line—those employees not getting $500K bonuses from Goldman Sachs or AIG. Rather than treating staff with consideration (given that those remaining after multiple rounds of layoffs are expected to do the jobs of their sacked colleagues), acknowledging their work, giving them a share of the results, and like that, management are sending them to thinking happy thoughts seminars.

I swear I’m not making this up. It’s in the Journal.

I suppose paying $10K for a “happiness coach”, sucking up the four hours of staff time and diverting a few plates of pastries and fruit to the seminar is more cost-effective than actually paying them for the work they do.

Plus, it has the advantage of putting all the onus of attitude adjustment on the employees. Hey—you’re feeling down because we’ve given you more work than can be humanly done, slashed your salary and; cut your benefits: suck it up and think positive. See? All fixed.

Yeah, right.

If they really cared about happy thoughts they’d stock bars on every floor with Stoli, Oban and Asombroso Añejo.