#BroadcastFail

Wednesday I wanted to watch the live stream of the men’s gymnastics, so I gritted my teeth and went to NBC’s Olympics site. What I saw was spectacular; but it was also infested with commercials.

Yes—“live” feed; car commercial every two to three minutes. I gave up after watching one American and two Japanese on the high bar and parallels.

Then yesterday afternoon I thought I’d take a look at the floor routine that won Gabby Douglas the women’s all-around gold.

Here’s what I found:

They obviously want to make it as hard as possible for you to watch anything but their prime-time commercial-riddled broadcast. #NBCFail

So I used my VPN connection to find it on the BBC. Imagine my surprise to discover that the Brits couldn’t be bothered to show much of anything not involving TeamGB.

BBC—meet NBC. Both utterly useless.

Retail Olympics

Okay, you understand that the Olympics aren’t just about athletic achievement, right? Aside from badminton teams competing to throw their early matches by playing with all the skill of 11-year-olds, there’s merchandise. Lots of it.

Evidently people are lining up seven across at the main official tschotschke store to buy everything from tea towels to track suits at Olympic-sized prices.

However, I like the competition that’s arisen between non-official tote bag manufacturers. First there was the bag sporting the statement, “I’m Renting My Flat to a Fat American Family”. Back snapped a bag with “Proud American family renting an overpriced London flat from snooty Brits with bad teeth!”

It’ll be interesting to see how this progresses through the various rounds.

Another #NBCFail

Definitely getting a kick out of the reaction of—well, pretty much everyone on the Internet—to how NBC is covering the Olympics.

Because it’s a lot more engaging and immediate than the network’s actual, you know, coverage. If you want a sample, just Google #NBCFail. That hashtag took over from the #ShutUpMattLauer one. Or maybe it subsumed the latter.

It’s not just that they’re not broadcasting anything in real time. Or that they’re spattering commercials throughout like they think this is their last chance to appease advertisers because ad companies are going to shut down in 18 minutes. It’s that they can’t even fully present what they’re showing without inserting spoilers.

The biggest example (so far) is the break before showing the women’s 100-meter backstroke final. NBC ran a promo for yesterday’s Today show interview with the 17-year-old, shrieking, “When you’re 17 years old and win your first gold medal, there’s nobody you’d rather share it with.” And they included a photo of her holding up her gold medal.

I like Andy Borowitz’s take in The New Yorker. Sad thing is—if someone did offer a “NBC-free” stream for $29.95, people would sign up.

As it is, many tech-literate (and even not so literate) folks have hooked into VPNs to be able to watch coverage from other broadcasters. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really enjoying seeing the BBC’s offerings. Not only are they minus the NBC fatuous commentary, they’re showing sports I’d never have seen courtesy of the broadcaster that’s supposed to be serving the American viewing public.

Olympic mania

I was reading a commentary in The Economist about the opening ceremony at the Olympic games, which was mildly interesting.

But, wherever I can, I also read readers’ comments. And in this instance, here’s where I went straight to hell.

One DeweyV asked, “What? No Benny Hill…?” To which speedface6 replied, “Apparently they’re playing the Benny Hill theme song during the breaks at the beach volleyball.”

And, you know what? Even though I’ve not seen a Benny Hill episode in decades, that manic sax just immediately leapt to my mind and has been dashing madly about between my ears ever since.

Let me share the love:

Opening class (high & low)

Okay, Danny Boyle did a bang-up job with the opening ceremony of the London Olympic games on Friday. It wasn’t what you’d call universal or inclusive in terms of the brotherhood of man, but it told a heck of a tale about the United Kingdom.

He didn’t go as far back as James A. Michener usually did with his novels—no primordial ooze. But we got a history-lesson-in-a-stadium starting with bucolic Britain, through the dark days of the Industrial Revolution, the wars of the 20^th century, NHS nightmares and the digital age. And it was massively entertaining.

Frankly, even though it didn’t seem to be part of the narrative, Boyle had me at the schtick with James Bond and HM the Queen. No, no—not the two of them going on a mission and parachuting into the stadium; the part with the corgis. That was all class.

I also enjoyed the percussion exercise, led by Evelyn Glennie. They could box that and I’d buy it.

The bit with Mr. Bean channeling Chariots of Fire was so British. I wonder if I was the only person remembering the incident involving Zola Bud and Mary Decker at the 1984 Olympic games?

The big downer of the whole evening was NBC’s “coverage”. Meredith Veiera and Matt Lauer expanded the concept of cringeworthiness exponentially. Their ignorance was embarrassing, and they just could not stop bashing on about it. They could have gone down onto the stadium floor during the rural sequence and stood in for the village idiots.

I joined thousands of tweeters in yelling, “Shut up, you two! For the love of God, just shut up!” They got their own hashtag: #ShutUpMattLauer. Actually, there's another, #NBCfail, but that wouldn't be Olympics-specific.

And, since NBC (to which we used to refer as the Nothing But Crap network when I freelanced there) delayed their broadcast hours and hours, they had plenty of time to clean up their hosts’ blather, I do not get why they didn’t do some basic editing. Were none of their execs listening to the show? Or, God help us, did they think it was witty?

For the first couple of hours the network was cutting to commercials about every nine to ten minutes. But when the parade of athletes started, commercials came on at three minute intervals. Not even basic cable channels have the chutzpah to pull that. (Thank God for DVR.)

And, in another demonstration of NBC’s crass jingoism (which has marked their coverage ever since they got the contract years ago), the network swapped a taped interview with Michael Phelps for a sequence at the ceremony honoring victims of the 07/07 London terror attack. (If you want to see it, go here.) Seriously? What were you thinking, NBC? So you could edit, but just not for the better?

(Well, if they had shown the tribute, Veiera and Lauer would just have yammered right through it.)

Another question—why, in this Digital Age, can I not find some coverage online that’s not bleeding NBC?