Still on the theme of the dumbification of American letters (or possibly the illiteratization of written communication), this post about five grammar mistakes “that make you look like a chimp” crossed my email.
Really—I don’t know why you’d stop at five. What about the people who don’t know the difference between a transitive and intransitive verb (and therefore misuse lay/lie in ignorant bliss)?
Or subject/object pronouns—“he gave the tickets to Mark and I”—with particular attention to who/whom. “Give the tickets to whomever can go.”
Number/amount: “the amount of people who got tickets was limited to whomever paid a bribe”. Or, one of my faves: TNT’s “more movie, less commercials.”
Subject/predicate agreement: “anyone can get tickets if they pay a bribe.”
Indiscriminate splattering of their/they’re/there, or its/it’s.
The list goes on—feel free to add your own bêtes noires.
And don’t even get me started on punctuation.
This is what comes of people thinking that anyone can be a writer, without training or talent. They wouldn’t think that anyone could be a cardiothoracic surgeon (at least one they’d let cut into their chest), or even that anyone could play the clarinet, without training or talent. But writing? “Hell, Ah kin rite—jes’ watch me on this here net-thang!”
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
In your Facebook
I can’t be the first person to have noted that the social networking phenomenon has resulted in the complete trivialization of communication.
I mean, it’s one thing when any buffoon with an Internet connection and the ability to type can spew authoritatively the kind of crack-brained opinions that you used to encounter only on talk radio. Only now with misspellings and a complete absence of understanding of punctuation.
But Facebook has elevated the annoyance of minutiae to Himalayan heights.
It seems that the combination of a guaranteed audience (your “friends”) and the access afforded by the BlackBerry and iPhone (examples of “smart phones”, although they actually seem to bring out the moron in their users) has resulted in the kind of “update” that just boggles my mind.
I’m talking the, “At the pizza parlor”, followed by, “Hard to choose—pepperoni or sausage?” followed by, “Went half-and-half” (with a photo), followed by, “Couldn’t finish it” (with another photo), and finally, “What to have for dessert?”
Or the, “Packing the car for Florida”, “Getting in the car and heading out”, “Just getting to I-95”, ad nauseam for 758 miles. (Special attention to South of the Border.)
So far I haven’t encountered the trips to the loo, but I have no doubt whatsoever they’re on the horizon.
I’ve had to hide two friends’ posts for precisely this reason. (And, interestingly, one of them was a complete Luddite until she got her BlackBerry not long ago.)
Honest to God—can’t people just sign up for Twitter and splash their tiny little updates amongst the crowd that can’t pay attention for longer than 140 characters?
I mean, it’s one thing when any buffoon with an Internet connection and the ability to type can spew authoritatively the kind of crack-brained opinions that you used to encounter only on talk radio. Only now with misspellings and a complete absence of understanding of punctuation.
But Facebook has elevated the annoyance of minutiae to Himalayan heights.
It seems that the combination of a guaranteed audience (your “friends”) and the access afforded by the BlackBerry and iPhone (examples of “smart phones”, although they actually seem to bring out the moron in their users) has resulted in the kind of “update” that just boggles my mind.
I’m talking the, “At the pizza parlor”, followed by, “Hard to choose—pepperoni or sausage?” followed by, “Went half-and-half” (with a photo), followed by, “Couldn’t finish it” (with another photo), and finally, “What to have for dessert?”
Or the, “Packing the car for Florida”, “Getting in the car and heading out”, “Just getting to I-95”, ad nauseam for 758 miles. (Special attention to South of the Border.)
So far I haven’t encountered the trips to the loo, but I have no doubt whatsoever they’re on the horizon.
I’ve had to hide two friends’ posts for precisely this reason. (And, interestingly, one of them was a complete Luddite until she got her BlackBerry not long ago.)
Honest to God—can’t people just sign up for Twitter and splash their tiny little updates amongst the crowd that can’t pay attention for longer than 140 characters?