Thursday, September 26, 2019

Cocktail party


Going back at least two years, early in the reporting or Cadet Bonespurs’ criminal acts , someone on Twitter proposed an Impeachment Cocktail. I don’t remember the specifics, but I do recall that it didn’t strike me as particularly enticing.

Well, since Nancy Pelosi announced on Tuesday that the House will be opening an impeachment inquiry, the Interwebs have exploded with recipes and photos of contenders for the beverages to be imbibed alone or at impeachment parties. America is about to get as drunk as it did on 5 December 1933.

And here are a few of the possibilities:






However, I rather agree with this guy, who owns a drinking establishment in the District They Call Columbia:





Best practice



Yesterday it was business ethics, followed by active shooter training, and I wanted nothing so much when I got home than to take a shower and watch non-stop puppy and kitten videos.

This downer was magnified by the knowledge that the current occupant of the Oval Office would fail the most basic ethical quiz, and the full understanding that “active shooter” is now embedded in our culture.

My workspace is about five meters from one of the entrances to the elevator lobby. The entrance, BTW, is double doors. Glass doors. So I’ll probably be one of the first victims.

If I’m not, I might be able to make it to the mothers’ room, which has a solid wood door and a heavy upholstered chair, which I might be able to shove against the door. Failing that, there’s also a microwave oven, which I could throw at the shooter; because in the event you can’t run or hide, “best practice” is to fight back.

Bring on the kittens and puppies.




Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Strange times


Well, well, well, well. Impeachment inquiry in the House. #MoscowMitch doesn’t block a (unanimous, as it happens) Senate motion calling for release of the whistleblower report. Whistleblower (who I hope to God is in a secure, undisclosed location) on track to testify in Congress. Cadet Bonespurs rage-tweeting in an orange-sweat meltdown.

Here’s what lies ahead in the next few months:




Tuesday, September 24, 2019

We got climbers


Just last week, Cadet Bonespurs was preening in front of the bit of his southern border wall that he’s desperately trying to sell to his knuckledragging, mouthbreathing racist followers as on its way to completion. He was bragging lying about how his “beautiful” wall is impenetrable and unclimbable. His rotting word salad, specifically:

“We have, I guess you could say, world-class mountain-climbers. We got climbers. We had 20 mountain-climbers. That’s all they do—they love to climb mountains. They can have it. Me, I don’t want to climb mountains. But they’re very good, and some of them were champions. And we gave them different prototypes of walls, and this was the only wan that was hardest to climb.”

Well, folks in Mexico have turned his “impenetrable” wall into a climbing competition tourist attraction.



So it is serving a benign purpose, after a fashion. Which is more than can be said for the increasingly sweatiily apoplectic Kleptocrat.



Monday, September 23, 2019

Gratitude Monday: the strength of friendship


As I’ve noted, many people helped me during my recent job hunt. Someone who has always encouraged and supported me was not called out earlier because she deserves a gratitude post all to herself.

I’ve known CA since before my first stint in the People’s Republic in the mid-90s. She and her husband own a photo/video studio and she’s one of the few people I know who have more books than I do. She’s got a terrific eye for design, composition and color; before I moved into this place, I showed her floor plans and realtor photos of the space, and followed her recommendations for how to arrange my furniture. (I’d also had her join my realtor and me once on the day I decided to make the offer.)

We get together for weekend breakfast as often as our schedules allow, so we can sort out all the world’s ills. Also, dish. Dishing is very important to one’s sanity.

Even though the corporate ecosystem is not her thing, CA always listens to my gripes and rants. She’s the one who leaves me little surprises at my front door (like an Easter basket of mustard greens for the brown bunny that likes to eat my herbs). Some years ago, I was struggling with trying to recapture the Tigger side of my personality, she sent me this guy:


He went with me in 2015 to the on-site interview I had for my last employer (in my handbag), and he went with me last month to the on-site interview with this one.

When I had to submit a bloody video for an innovations competition I was de facto never going to win a couple of years ago, CA and TM spent hours shooting and editing it for me. I may not have been the worst talent they’ve ever worked with, but I’m sure I’m in the top ten. They didn’t show it.

CA has encouraged my explorations. When I went to Ireland in May, she told me she loved my blog posts, and the photos. Some of the best (and most-needed) books I have on slowing down and taking breaths were gifts from her. Also, I have an amazing collection of fridge magnets and buttons with slogans like, "If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send all of them?" and a Mark Twain quote, "While the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys, redheads are derived from cats."

On my Metro ride home the day I had the Dalìesque discussion with the head of HR, I texted her with the news. Her immediate response: let’s have dinner at the club (the local golf club of which she and her husband are members). She fed me.

In the time since that dinner, CA’s commented several times that I seem much stronger than I have in the past. She’s right, and it’s really heartening that she validated my sense of what’s going on. Every time I passed through a gate in this last hiring process, I shared the news with her first, and she squeed with me.

I had to submit a headshot against a white background for my security badge, so I asked if CA and TM could shoot one real quick. When I showed up, their living room was a photo studio, with lights, backdrop, posing stool and camera all set up. It must have taken them hours. They patiently worked with it all and me until they got enough shots for us to pick one. I loved watching the two of them operating as a perfectly aligned team. TM had already phoned the security folks to ask what format they accept; while we were working on the final choices, he called again to ask whether they preferred square or rectangular. I was so humbled and kind of ashamed at the level of work I’d put them to, but my head shot is terrific.

(As an aside, DR, the guy who made the internal referral, told me, “My badge looks like death because I drove in starting at 4 that morning to avoid traffic and ran my car battery down while taking a nap in the parking lot….My badge mostly says ‘I require a nap and/or may be a raccoon.’” My badge says I am ready to roll.)

I am not big on personalizing my work space, but I feel like CA’s card and the mug she gave me are appropriate for my desk:



As you can see, I’ve already baptized the latter with a latte. If my colleagues pay any attention to the former, they’ll know the way to my heart.

It may be Gratitude Monday, but one day is not enough to express my appreciation of my friendship with CA.